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STOP moving to Brooklyn!

STOP moving to Brooklyn!

11 signatures 39 to reach 50
M
Max K. signed 6 hours ago
J
Jacob Z. signed 8 hours ago
A
Amy H. signed 11 hours ago
L
Lauren M. signed 14 hours ago
K
kennedy l. signed 15 hours ago
A
Alex R. signed 16 hours ago
Started by Anonymous 16 hours, 47 minutes ago

The people of DC are flocking to Brooklyn en masse. IT'S WRONG!
Yes, Brooklyn has a hip mayor. Yes, Brooklyn is full of cool gay people. No, Brooklyn doesn't have federal armed guards from Florida watching you in the metro.

BUT CONSIDER THIS: it's way easier to be unique in DC. You're the only person wearing denim shorts that long here. EVERYONE IS WEARING SHORTS EVEN LONGER THAN YOURS IN BROOKLYN!

If you're having a bad day in Brooklyn, it might be your fault. If you're having a bad day in DC, you can displace all responsibility for it on the recent closure of your favorite public park and/or the loss of streateries and/or the conservatives on vacation gawking at your unshaven legs. THAT'S REAL FREEDOM!

SIGN HERE  to STOP YOUR FRIENDS FROM MOVING TO BROOKLYN.

It's for their own good. 


2 Comments

J
Jacob Zionts Verified
8 hr ago

This is so important! My friends need to come back (please)!

L
Lauren Maunus Verified
14 hr ago

We deserve statehood, not betrayal!

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