As we know, the beloved fig tree has caused some slight problems lately but it is part of the family and even to consider lopping it whilst in its prime is a frightful act of barbary which cannot be tolerated in a modern, liberal society such as the 5th republic.

Next it'll be the chestnut trees being felled for some minor misdemeanour and this would be tantamount to Armageddon and the end of life as we know it.

Will you stand by and let this happen?