I caught my husband sleeping with our pom-pom WH0RE neighbor. I'm getting them something to eat. Their EXECUTIONS are tonight.
R
REGINOD MCSPED
3 months ago
My driving test didn't go well at all. I ran over all the cones, ran down the pedestrians. The instructor was scared of how fast I was going. He yelled: Slow down. For pete sake slow down. Then I said: I can't--I can't find the brake! Then--SLAM! Right into a Police car. I'm not at anything.
R
REGINOD MCSPED
3 months ago
My first day as a waiter didn't go well at all. I can't remember the orders, I spilled drinks down women's CLEAVAGE, I sat on peoples food, I ate more food than I SERVED. I'm not good at anything.
R
Richard Olson
3 months ago
Clear coat sun burnt through the hood and the top toyota needs to fix this problem and fix my clear coat looks like he'll pay that much for a truck ans that happens
V
VIDEO GAME FAG
3 months ago
Bad news! GTA 6 will cost 500 PHINOPLAKS! That's worse than 30 ONKIANS! Who has that kind of MONEY?!
S
Sonja Toth
3 months ago
My Highlander limited edition silver clear coat is deteriorated it’s a 2018 silver has 32000 miles it’s garaged and washed weekly but water is getting under clear coat rusting the paint Toyota states I’m out of Warrenty also faults me on not taking vehicle to dealer for oil changes. In 22000 miles I had 7 oil changes full synthetic. Just the hood Gettel says will cost $5k to replace Toyota refused to pay anything. I told them I would go to wink they don’t care.
F
FATHER
3 months ago
I had this dream for a while--I wan to watch my son BANG A FOOTBALL PLAYER. So I hired a quarterback named BUTCH MCDICK to sleep with my son. My son refused, because he likes women, so I yelled at him: GET IN THE BED WITH BUTCH AND TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF!!!
C
CASELLA GARBAGE MAN
3 months ago
I collect the dumpster from EMANON golf course on Thursdays. When I start the compactor, I sing the garbage man song!
SINGING: Gotta compact it---compress it--recycle it--- make more room for it. OOH OOH OHH, keep on truckin'
A
Anonymous
3 months ago
My 2020 Barcelona red is now Barcelona Orange and my door handles are peeling.
C
CORRUGATED BRANPUFFS
3 months ago
LOU: I'm doing my grocery shopping. Lets add It up on my calculator. 12 boxes of cereal, times 4 dollars per box equals---$53,418?! GODDAMN! What the---?!
C
COLLECTIVE
3 months ago
We are the Borg. Lower your pants and surrender your NADS. Your ANUS will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.
W
WHITE LIES MISSION- VICE CITY STORIES
3 months ago
"Fruity music playing"
LANCE: HEEYAH! It's the LAnce Vance Dance! You got to--pop it-- and--well-- lock it Yeah! WOO!
"Vic shuts off the damn noise"
" Lance spins around"
VIC: So this is where the coke is going?
Up your nose?
T
THE AUDITION MISSION-VCE CIY STORIES
3 months ago
Vic and Lance get in Forbes' car.
VIC: I don't get i. How's stealing one dumb car gonna make us rich.
LANCE: Don't worry, bro. I's all cool.
VIC: Are there drugs hidden in the car?
T
TAKING OUT THE WHITE TRASH- VICE CITY STORIES
3 months ago
REDNECK: So cheats decided to show your ugly b*tch-ass faces.
LOUISE: If Marty heard you talking to me like that---
REDNECK: Marty? Marty said the next time he saw you, he'd turn you out!
VIC: Back off white trash.
REDNECK: White trash? You wanna do this, b*tch boy?
H
HAVANA GOOD TIME- VICE CITY STORies
3 months ago
UMBERTO: Victor Vance is a man with balls! You're not afraid of nobody.
VIC: You know I'm not afraid of anybody.
UMBERTO: Then show them your balls.
VIC: No. I was in the army, not the navy.
UMBERTO: Screw you b*tches!
M
Mugshot Longshot mission-Vice City Stories
3 months ago
ARMANDO MENDEZ: So,, Victor, Lance. Who has been ripping us off, all of us? Because now we are partners.
VIC: Well---
LANCE: IT WAS MARTINEZ!
ARMANDO MENDEZ: Really? Prove it. I mean, prove it now!
V
VIDEO GAME FAG
3 months ago
I got 100 percent completion for GTA: Vice city stories. You C0CK SUCKERS jealous?
V
VIC and LANCE VANCE
3 months ago
LANCE: This cat really knew how to travel. There's some fancy stuff in his plane.
VIC: Never mind that. Did you get the file?
LANCE: Right here. No problem.
VIC: No problem? I could of used a little help out here ass-brain!
LANCE: It's all cool, brother.
VIC: Lance. Take the file, and get the hell out of my sight!
V
VIC and LANCE VANCE
3 months ago
LANCE: Rich at last. Rich at last. Thank God almighty were rich at last.
VIC: We haven't sold this SCHIT yet.
LANCE: We better. I bought us fancy apartments: were mortgaged to the Hilt.
VIC: Were supposed to be getting out of this SCHIT!
J
JIVE DRIVE MISSION- VICE CITY STORIES
3 months ago
CHOLO: ALL the Cholo have been looking for you Mr. Big-shot.
LANCE: Me? What do you want with me?
CHOLO: I'm not talking to you! I'm talking to him! You kill plenty of Cholo. Now, we KILL YOU PLENTY!
I caught my husband sleeping with our pom-pom WH0RE neighbor. I'm getting them something to eat. Their EXECUTIONS are tonight.
My driving test didn't go well at all. I ran over all the cones, ran down the pedestrians. The instructor was scared of how fast I was going. He yelled: Slow down. For pete sake slow down. Then I said: I can't--I can't find the brake! Then--SLAM! Right into a Police car. I'm not at anything.
My first day as a waiter didn't go well at all. I can't remember the orders, I spilled drinks down women's CLEAVAGE, I sat on peoples food, I ate more food than I SERVED. I'm not good at anything.
Clear coat sun burnt through the hood and the top toyota needs to fix this problem and fix my clear coat looks like he'll pay that much for a truck ans that happens
Bad news! GTA 6 will cost 500 PHINOPLAKS! That's worse than 30 ONKIANS! Who has that kind of MONEY?!
My Highlander limited edition silver clear coat is deteriorated it’s a 2018 silver has 32000 miles it’s garaged and washed weekly but water is getting under clear coat rusting the paint Toyota states I’m out of Warrenty also faults me on not taking vehicle to dealer for oil changes. In 22000 miles I had 7 oil changes full synthetic. Just the hood Gettel says will cost $5k to replace Toyota refused to pay anything. I told them I would go to wink they don’t care.
I had this dream for a while--I wan to watch my son BANG A FOOTBALL PLAYER. So I hired a quarterback named BUTCH MCDICK to sleep with my son. My son refused, because he likes women, so I yelled at him: GET IN THE BED WITH BUTCH AND TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF!!!
I collect the dumpster from EMANON golf course on Thursdays. When I start the compactor, I sing the garbage man song! SINGING: Gotta compact it---compress it--recycle it--- make more room for it. OOH OOH OHH, keep on truckin'
My 2020 Barcelona red is now Barcelona Orange and my door handles are peeling.
LOU: I'm doing my grocery shopping. Lets add It up on my calculator. 12 boxes of cereal, times 4 dollars per box equals---$53,418?! GODDAMN! What the---?!
We are the Borg. Lower your pants and surrender your NADS. Your ANUS will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.
"Fruity music playing" LANCE: HEEYAH! It's the LAnce Vance Dance! You got to--pop it-- and--well-- lock it Yeah! WOO! "Vic shuts off the damn noise" " Lance spins around" VIC: So this is where the coke is going? Up your nose?
Vic and Lance get in Forbes' car. VIC: I don't get i. How's stealing one dumb car gonna make us rich. LANCE: Don't worry, bro. I's all cool. VIC: Are there drugs hidden in the car?
REDNECK: So cheats decided to show your ugly b*tch-ass faces. LOUISE: If Marty heard you talking to me like that--- REDNECK: Marty? Marty said the next time he saw you, he'd turn you out! VIC: Back off white trash. REDNECK: White trash? You wanna do this, b*tch boy?
UMBERTO: Victor Vance is a man with balls! You're not afraid of nobody. VIC: You know I'm not afraid of anybody. UMBERTO: Then show them your balls. VIC: No. I was in the army, not the navy. UMBERTO: Screw you b*tches!
ARMANDO MENDEZ: So,, Victor, Lance. Who has been ripping us off, all of us? Because now we are partners. VIC: Well--- LANCE: IT WAS MARTINEZ! ARMANDO MENDEZ: Really? Prove it. I mean, prove it now!
I got 100 percent completion for GTA: Vice city stories. You C0CK SUCKERS jealous?
LANCE: This cat really knew how to travel. There's some fancy stuff in his plane. VIC: Never mind that. Did you get the file? LANCE: Right here. No problem. VIC: No problem? I could of used a little help out here ass-brain! LANCE: It's all cool, brother. VIC: Lance. Take the file, and get the hell out of my sight!
LANCE: Rich at last. Rich at last. Thank God almighty were rich at last. VIC: We haven't sold this SCHIT yet. LANCE: We better. I bought us fancy apartments: were mortgaged to the Hilt. VIC: Were supposed to be getting out of this SCHIT!
CHOLO: ALL the Cholo have been looking for you Mr. Big-shot. LANCE: Me? What do you want with me? CHOLO: I'm not talking to you! I'm talking to him! You kill plenty of Cholo. Now, we KILL YOU PLENTY!