Dear Seismologists from California,

It has come to our attention (after specifically asking you) that you are taking "accurate seismological measurements" (whatever that means!) on North Topsail Island during sea turtle hatching season. Based on our extensive understanding of what seismology is and what you are doing on the beach, you are without a doubt posing a major threat to the health and safety of all sea turtles everywhere. We urge you to stop your experiments for the good of the sea turtles.

Sincerely,

Topsail Hoz

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