The Ratledge family has not been whole for the some 20 odd years it has been in existence. Plagued by inadequacy, loneliness, and failure to do the one thing required of the standard middle-class, cul-de-sac living, nuclear family. ~Finally~ it's time. Thanks to my dear 12 year old brother's Christmas-wish-list pleas, the Ratledge family is getting a dog. A REAL LIFE ACTUAL DOG.

Well, we hope. Unfortunately, I've recently been made aware that, once again, the plans for a dog may not come to fruition, and they may, in fact, just be rumors. The parents are trying to back out. "A dog is a big commitment," they say. "A lot to think about here. Age? Type? Inside/outside?? Invisible fence or no???"

Tell my parents these things don't matter. Tell them the hair on the couch is worth it, along with the pee accidents and chewed up shoe-laces.

OUR FAMILY NEEDS CUDDLES AND THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE THAT ONLY A DOG CAN PROVIDE (unless, bc we're in the Bible belt you're Christian- then I guess Jesus has got you too)

Sign here. Show the Ratledges you care about their well-being and the dog at the rescue looking for a home. Tell them no, a 12-year does not need a gun for Christmas (the alternative wish-list option if Ethan's dog demands are not met), and setting up the pool table that has been in the basement for 10 years doesn't count as a Christmas gift either. Help convince my Dad that the extended friendly relations of our family- most of which he has never actually met- is team dog.

Please feel free to sign this petition as many times as you'd like as using as many fake names as possible. Comment with hypoallergenic dog breed suggestions that won't kill me and make my eyes swell shut on a daily basis. And lastly, look at that face. It's too cute to deny and you know it.