My wife got mugged today. Except it was me that mugged her, I didn't want her money. I wanted her undies! I made her pull her pink lace thong down in public!
K
KATIE SEARFOSS
3 years ago
When I was a Borg drone, I assimilated innocent people. Not only did I inject my nanoprobes from my bloodstream into theirs, I injected metal into them so they could handle the nanoprobes.
B
BAD ASS
3 years ago
One of them alien things from SIGNS was on my roof! I went outside and yelled at it, YOU GET DOWN FROM THERE!
L
LESZEK
3 years ago
I keep a TOILET JOURNAL. I record the size, color, and texture of my FECES!
L
LESZEK
3 years ago
I keep a TOILET JOURNAL. I record the size, color, and texture of my FECES!
F
FATHER
3 years ago
My son wants a raise in his allowance. Maybe he'll take a slap in the face with a paint can!
G
GIMP
3 years ago
If I betrayed the ALBINO, chances are I'd have a probe up my ass within the hour!
H
Holly Madison
3 years ago
I was Hugh Hefner's BIT¢H. One day I scooted a table over and he WHIPPED ME! Guess he didn't like the way I scooted that table over!
S
Symba
3 years ago
My boyfriend won't talk to me no more, I just left my key to his apartment on the table. Our time as a couple--is over☹️
N
Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer
3 years ago
Hey, Trump! Where's that red wave, smart ass?!!
B
BIG AL
3 years ago
I read that MacNicol comment. I, too, was ripped off by bastard kids on Halloween. They kicked me in the groin and stole my bowl of candy. No one else was able to get candy that night!
M
MacNicol
3 years ago
Halloween night, bastard kids hit me on my head, I dropped the bowl of candy, and they stole the bowl of candy! NO MORE HALLOWEEN!
L
LESZEK
3 years ago
When I sleep at night, I keep my face next to my wife's ass. Her butt smell soothes me to sleep!
W
WENDY PUSHOG
3 years ago
I have medical issues. Like PENIS WITHDRAWAL and SCHLONGUS INTERRUPTUS!
D
Duval
3 years ago
Son! This TV you bought me is all static. Did you buy me some sort of--cheapo tv?!
B
BIG ED
3 years ago
My wife says my PENIS is bigger than my BRAIN!
S
SEYMOUR
3 years ago
Aunt Debbie got off bl*nkey. Her butt cheek marks are forged in bl*nkey. He butt smell is so sexy in bl*nkey!
S
SEYMOUR
3 years ago
Aunt Debbie leaned over, I see my baby bl*nkey nice and crushed under her shapely bubble butt, I can see bl*nkey going up her butt crack, I can smell her sexy lotion butt smell.
S
SEYMOUR
3 years ago
As you know, I love having Aunt Debbie sit on my baby bl*nkey as she works at her computer. Her thighs are thick, her bubble butt in jeans crushing bl*nkey. Aunt Debbie says she can sit on my bl*nkey for hours while working.
My penis is hungry for a hot blonde.
My wife got mugged today. Except it was me that mugged her, I didn't want her money. I wanted her undies! I made her pull her pink lace thong down in public!
When I was a Borg drone, I assimilated innocent people. Not only did I inject my nanoprobes from my bloodstream into theirs, I injected metal into them so they could handle the nanoprobes.
One of them alien things from SIGNS was on my roof! I went outside and yelled at it, YOU GET DOWN FROM THERE!
I keep a TOILET JOURNAL. I record the size, color, and texture of my FECES!
I keep a TOILET JOURNAL. I record the size, color, and texture of my FECES!
My son wants a raise in his allowance. Maybe he'll take a slap in the face with a paint can!
If I betrayed the ALBINO, chances are I'd have a probe up my ass within the hour!
I was Hugh Hefner's BIT¢H. One day I scooted a table over and he WHIPPED ME! Guess he didn't like the way I scooted that table over!
My boyfriend won't talk to me no more, I just left my key to his apartment on the table. Our time as a couple--is over☹️
Hey, Trump! Where's that red wave, smart ass?!!
I read that MacNicol comment. I, too, was ripped off by bastard kids on Halloween. They kicked me in the groin and stole my bowl of candy. No one else was able to get candy that night!
Halloween night, bastard kids hit me on my head, I dropped the bowl of candy, and they stole the bowl of candy! NO MORE HALLOWEEN!
When I sleep at night, I keep my face next to my wife's ass. Her butt smell soothes me to sleep!
I have medical issues. Like PENIS WITHDRAWAL and SCHLONGUS INTERRUPTUS!
Son! This TV you bought me is all static. Did you buy me some sort of--cheapo tv?!
My wife says my PENIS is bigger than my BRAIN!
Aunt Debbie got off bl*nkey. Her butt cheek marks are forged in bl*nkey. He butt smell is so sexy in bl*nkey!
Aunt Debbie leaned over, I see my baby bl*nkey nice and crushed under her shapely bubble butt, I can see bl*nkey going up her butt crack, I can smell her sexy lotion butt smell.
As you know, I love having Aunt Debbie sit on my baby bl*nkey as she works at her computer. Her thighs are thick, her bubble butt in jeans crushing bl*nkey. Aunt Debbie says she can sit on my bl*nkey for hours while working.