Okay, look. This isn't a glamorous story or anything at all. So I won't bs anyone. This is a petition for me to get on the Ellen DeGeneres show. See, there's this girl named Brittany. She loves me and I love her, with all my heart. Recently, she broke up with me because of the distance. I want her back, because I'm meant to be with her. I will do anything to get her back and if that means being a sappy mess on public Television, then I will do it in a heartbeat. I know there are causes FAR more important than mine, but this is important to me, in the lease. I will welcome any support. Much love [: