Stand with our Military Servicemembers for Medical Autonomy

I have a DONKEY PORN magazine business. I hook the donkeys up to a machine that stimulates their genitals so the donkeys can get a BONER!

I've been charged with 130 felony counts of distributing DONKEY PORN to children.

My HARD-ON for my DAUGHTER in her leopard thong has reached TITANIC amounts!

Tomorrow is my annual PANTY SMELLING contest. When my wife leaves town, I have my friends come over and judge my wife's undies by SMELLING them!

Our military drill sergeants say, LEFT, LEFT, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT. Israel's drill sergeants say, OY, OY, OY, OY, OY.

When my friend slept over, I gave him a blanket with my wifes PERIOD STAIN on it!

RETRO ROCKETS FIRING!

I go to homes to people I don't know, and when they answer the door I say, who are you? What do you want?

My son was born today. When I held him for the first time, I dropped him on his head! Not a good start ☹️

In my house, October is V-A-G-I-N-A awareness month!

My wife bought FULL COVERAGE panties instead of thongs! I confiscated the panties! She shouldn't even be wearing panties.

Acting Captain's log, stardate:52597.4 Our situation is getting worse everyday. More than 80% of the ship is uninhabitable, most of the crew are gone. It seems less and less likely the few of us left will reach our destination ☹️☹️☹️

I use to be a Borg drone, when I had my body armor removed, my husband kept the Borg abs that were grafted onto my stomach. He licks them.

I was a barber at Kent military school. But I got my throat cut and dropped my shaver, blood was everywhere.

My husband said he needed a supply of Borg nanoprobes. I told him to extract them from my bloodstream, I was a drone.

TIFFANY! Where the F-U-C-K are you?!!

My wife says the constitution gives her freedom. I said, no it does not! No one has any freedom in my house unless I ALLOW IT!!!

My wife doesn't wear shorts no more because I pointed out how thick her thighs were to our party guests!!!

I use to be a police officer, I use to deliver flags to the families of fallen officers. In my mind, I said it was better them than me! Am I an A$$ HOLE? You be the judge.

My last year's high school talent show, I made noises with my armpit, I lost! This year, I did a loud wet fart, I lost again! WTF?!