LET PARIS HILTON ROT IN JAIL
To: The Flabulous Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and porn star. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides a damaging role model for trust fund babies all over the U.S. and the world. She is an embarrassment to her race, class, country, and even the adult film industry. She has almost single handedly undone a decades-long campaign to end the inheritance tax by convincing people to call it the \"death tax.\" Instead, when people think inheritance, they think Paris Hilton and wonder if she really needs all that money. This could cause a whole generation of trust fund babies to wet themselves until the servants explain that even with the inheritance tax, their family will be wealthy for the next five generations. Hilton is also notable for her leading roles on the FOX reality series The Simple Life and such adult films as SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG, A FEW GOOED MEN, WHITE MEN CAN\'T HUMP, and MANDINGO: THE NEXT GENERATION, as well as the high school health classic filmstrip, PARIS IS BURNING about the dangers of STDs. However, the production values on her porn films has fallen dramatically of late, with visible mics in the shot, poor lighting, and an incomplete shaving of her ass that makes it difficult to have lustful thoughts. As most of America now knows, Ms. Hilton was just charged in a Los Angeles court with DUI and sentenced to 45 days in Century Regional Detention Facility in California beginning on or before June 5, 2007. She showed up late for court, tried to blame her servants for not reminding her that her license was suspended, and generally acted as if she was doing the court a favor to show up at all. Therefore,We, the American public who buy miss Hilton\'s porn and enjoy her trainwreck of a life, are shocked, dismayed and appalled at her declining entertainment value. We therefore ask that you NOT pardon her, so that we may enjoy weeks of Entertainment Tonight and Inside Edition reports of Paris performing demeaning manual labor, being beaten up in the shower, and becoming some bull dyke\'s bitch. Please leave her in jail the full sentence, and install cameras to provide a 24 hour feed of her activities to CSPAN, including when she uses that steel toilet bolted to the wall.