Let’s Take New York Back – A Dutch Adventure Awaits: New Amsterdam!

Have you ever looked at a map and thought, “You know what the Netherlands needs? A little more skyscrapers, a lot more bagels, and, of course, Broadway!” Well, now’s your chance to make that dream come true.

Let’s take New York back from the Americans!

Yes, you read that correctly.

The Big Apple could be ours again, and we need your help to make it happen. Let’s bring New Amsterdam home!

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Why New York?

1. Skyscrapers for Days: Sure, the Netherlands has some pretty good windmills, but have you ever seen a skyline like Manhattan? Imagine our canals lined with tall, shiny buildings. Classic Dutch innovation meets modern city chic.

2. Bicycle Capital of the World: Let’s face it, the New Yorkers have no idea how to bike properly. We’ll bring our Dutch biking expertise, turning every street into a cyclist's dream. Goodbye, traffic jams!

3. Bagels. Everywhere.: The best bagels are already New York's claim to fame, but we’ll make them even better. And don’t even get us started on how much more gezellig it’ll be with Dutch cheese on every corner.

4. Broadway with a Dutch Twist: Can you imagine a musical where the lead character sings about stroopwafels? The cultural crossover potential is immense! Maybe we’ll call it “The Windmill King” or "Hamilton: the pilgrim fathers from Leiden Edition."

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Why Now?

Let’s face it – America has had its fun with New York for over 400 years, but it’s time to bring it back to its rightful home. A place that knows how to make the world’s best fries and runs the best coffee shops. It’s time for the Dutch to once again claim what’s ours.

And who knows? The Americans might be open to negotiations. They’ve got their hands full already, and we are offering free Dutch licorice with every signed petition.

But what about the people of New York?

Well, let’s be honest – they’ve been eating New York pizza and getting used to our tulips for years now. Most New Yorkers probably don’t even realize it’s not Dutch territory. Plus, how could they resist the idea of being part of the world’s most advanced cycling nation?

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The Big Plan

Crowdfunding Goal: $1 trillion (give or take a few billion). That’s just €5500 from every Dutch citizen. Skip a few coffees – or a few trips to the cheese shop – and we’ve got it covered.

• Our Negotiators?: Forget diplomats. We’re sending the cast of Undercover, some of our best top chefs, and yes, maybe even some real Dutch football stars.

• Dutch Values: We’ll bring wooden clogs to Times Square, bring bikes to Wall Street, and serve herring instead of hot dogs. We’ll also make sure every New Yorker gets a free stroopwafel with their subway ticket.

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Perks for Donors

Something to sweeten the deal? Absolutely!

€10

A personalized thank-you note from King Wim-Lex himself (okay, maybe just a postcard).

€100

A virtual tour of the new Amsterdam Tower in NYC.

€1000

A lifetime supply of Dutch cheese (shipping not included).

€10,000

Your name on a street sign in New Amsterdam.

€1,000,000

Your own private rooftop in Brooklyn (terms and conditions apply).

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The People Support Us

Or they will, once they experience the magic of Dutch culture firsthand.

Wim-Lex (King)

“We need more space for Dutch bicycles, and let’s face it, Brooklyn Bridge looks even better in orange!”

Vincent van Gogh (Artist)

“Art needs to thrive, and what better way to revitalize New York than by letting us Dutch paint it with our culture?”

Henk (Typical Dutch Guy)

“Living in New York is great, but I miss my windmills. Let’s fix that with a good Dutch takeover.”

Michiel de Ruyter (Historical Figure)

“Just like my ancestors took over England with their swords, we can take over New York with our wallets.”

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From New York to New Amsterdam – Let’s Make it Happen!

So, what do you say, Netherlands?

Let’s make history and take back New York. Together, we can bring Dutch gezelligheid, bikes, and cheese to the Big Apple and finally make it New Amsterdam again!

Sign now and let’s make the dream a reality!

text and image generated with the help of AI

Idea stolen from the Danish petition