All candidates are bad. I could probably do better than them.

Reasons to vote for me:

I'm awesome

You can't do any worse than the current candidates or Obama

Likes dank memes

Dislikes isis

Tender yet firm

Sensual yet masculine

Rand Paul dropped out :(

Is doing this at 2am

Knows how to use Photoshop

Can make America awesome and amazing

Reasons to hate the others:

Hillary is a liar

Bernie is an idiot

Trump is something.