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For Governor Abbott to Call the Border Crisis an Invasion

754 Comments

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FIRST NOEL
3 years ago

For Christmas, I bought my wife a PLAYSTATION 5. My wife bought me a single thing of GUM! MERRY FU¢KIN' CHRISTMAS!

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Lisa Kramer Sexy little Albino
3 years ago

I've had it with my boyfriend disobeying me! I used my assimilation tubules to inject my nanoprobes into his LEFT CEREBRAL HEMISPHERE. The nanoprobes created an implant in his brain, one he can't resist. Now he just sits there and drools!

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Fekkish
3 years ago

I hate my wife's friend. Marybeth comes over in yoga pants. The yoga pants look like they've been painted on. The yoga pants go completely up her butt crack and she sits on my couch! I have to spray the couch after she leaves! Can't people dress decent no-more?

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Esmeralda Pushog
3 years ago

In case you wanted to know, I got my PERIOD STAIN all over the bedsheets!

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LESZEK
3 years ago

When my party guests weren't looking, I MASTURBATED and got my SPERM in the EGGNOG! Happy holidays!

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LESZEK
3 years ago

My neighbors looked grossed out when they saw I decorated my x-mas tree with my wife's BRA'S and THONGS as ornaments!

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BAD ASS
3 years ago

My boss said, I need to treat him with more respect. So I grabbed him by his throat and then pointed my finger in his face!

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DEPORTEE
3 years ago

Goodbye to my Juan, goodbye Rosalita, adios me amigo, have you seen Maria?

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John Jacob Astor
3 years ago

My new marriage isn't doing good already. My new wife is cruel, insulting. She calls me DAGO and says my ass is WOPPED!

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MR SMART
3 years ago

I didn't know the name of the ship in the movie TITANIC! People can't stop laughing at me ☹️☹️☹️

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Charmaine
3 years ago

The two lady cops that were here, we done talkin' about stuff. I came up to my apartment to read the bible. Then all of a sudden HER, HER SON, HER SON GIRLFRIEND, they all came up here and tried to jump on me!

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Charmaine
3 years ago

That doesn't make no sense! SHE was in here tearing stuff up, that's how she got the cut on HER arm. I DIDN'T TOUCH HER!

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Esmeralda Pushog
3 years ago

The ALBINO isn't from heaven. He comes from the stinkin' flames of hell!!

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LEECOW
3 years ago

When the police told me that my wife was RAPED and EXECUTED, gunshot wound to the head, I couldn't stop laughing!

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EMBARRASSED
3 years ago

My wife is a disgrace! Instead of buying furniture, she installed a STRIPPER POLE in our living room! My friends are too ashamed to come over!

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DUKE
3 years ago

My PENIS, Eduardo, plays the trumpet. My PENIS spits while playing the trumpet.

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LEECOW
3 years ago

My neighbors, have the last name of GERMANY. I asked if they were NAZIS.

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GIMP
3 years ago

My son can't stop playing with matches! He flung them matches on our Christmas tree! Now we need a new tree! I'm gonna--break his little fingers!

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LESZEK
3 years ago

For my wife's Christmas presents, I bought her THONGS, DILD0'S and S&M outfits.

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LESZEK
3 years ago

I decorated my Christmas tree with my wife's BRA'S and THONGS as ornaments on the tree!