When I saw my wife and all her girlfriends smoking cigarettes in my house, I asked her: what game are you playing? Seeing who gets cancer first?!
G
GIMP
4 years ago
I can hear seagulls. I CAN HEAR GULLS!
L
LEECOW
4 years ago
When I was outside LISA KRAMER'S house, I took a sn*ff and said: OOH-EEE, I can smell a crack den!
J
Jon
4 years ago
I'm as pale as a DROWNED BABY!
P
PINWORM
4 years ago
I have a thriving business selling fake I.D.'s to my scumbag buddies in high school. Now they can buy booze!
D
DOOR AJAR
4 years ago
I'm home for a BLOW JOB and BALOGNA SANDWICH!
B
BIG ED
4 years ago
My wife says, when she walks into our house she knows I had BAKED BEANS!
B
BIG ED
4 years ago
I just took a dump, but I'm still farting!
G
General Hummel
4 years ago
My soldiers checked to make sure. The ALBINO is inside!
L
LESZEK
4 years ago
I got the scent of KATIE SEARFOSS when I smelled her butt!
J
JOKE MAN
4 years ago
My JEWISH friend said he has trouble concentrating. I told him he should go to a CONCENTRATION CAMP!
D
DUKE
4 years ago
My penis is a SEXUAL SADIST!
H
HAPPY
4 years ago
People ridicule the name of my fishing store. I named my store : MASTER BAIT. What's so funny?!
P
POLITICALLY CORRECT
4 years ago
When I dated an Asian woman, I took her to a Chinese restaurant. Now I date a Hispanic woman, I take her to a Mexican restaurant. That's not insulting!
M
MAD
4 years ago
I thought this was a free country! When I went for my HUNTING license, I asked if I could HUNT PEOPLE! They had me committed to a MENTAL HOSPITAL!
S
SAD
4 years ago
My wife says our sex is dead so she EMBALMED MY PENIS ☹️☹️☹️
W
WORRIED
4 years ago
I'm in trouble! My friend and I were playing frisbee with a SAW BLADE, when I threw it too far and hard, my neighbor came out and got it in the throat!
D
Duane Berry
4 years ago
Do you have any idea what it's like to have ALIENS suck your brain out through your NOSTRILS?!
C
CLASSIC PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC
4 years ago
My soldiers were in that helicopter when it was destroyed! I need to find someone who can CRACK these bastards!
S
Sin Jin Smythe
4 years ago
I have a fetish! I record sexy women being assimilated by the Borg! Drones taking off their bras and panties. Watching sexy women turn pale and their hair fall out. And watch their bodies being grafted in Borg body armor!
When I saw my wife and all her girlfriends smoking cigarettes in my house, I asked her: what game are you playing? Seeing who gets cancer first?!
I can hear seagulls. I CAN HEAR GULLS!
When I was outside LISA KRAMER'S house, I took a sn*ff and said: OOH-EEE, I can smell a crack den!
I'm as pale as a DROWNED BABY!
I have a thriving business selling fake I.D.'s to my scumbag buddies in high school. Now they can buy booze!
I'm home for a BLOW JOB and BALOGNA SANDWICH!
My wife says, when she walks into our house she knows I had BAKED BEANS!
I just took a dump, but I'm still farting!
My soldiers checked to make sure. The ALBINO is inside!
I got the scent of KATIE SEARFOSS when I smelled her butt!
My JEWISH friend said he has trouble concentrating. I told him he should go to a CONCENTRATION CAMP!
My penis is a SEXUAL SADIST!
People ridicule the name of my fishing store. I named my store : MASTER BAIT. What's so funny?!
When I dated an Asian woman, I took her to a Chinese restaurant. Now I date a Hispanic woman, I take her to a Mexican restaurant. That's not insulting!
I thought this was a free country! When I went for my HUNTING license, I asked if I could HUNT PEOPLE! They had me committed to a MENTAL HOSPITAL!
My wife says our sex is dead so she EMBALMED MY PENIS ☹️☹️☹️
I'm in trouble! My friend and I were playing frisbee with a SAW BLADE, when I threw it too far and hard, my neighbor came out and got it in the throat!
Do you have any idea what it's like to have ALIENS suck your brain out through your NOSTRILS?!
My soldiers were in that helicopter when it was destroyed! I need to find someone who can CRACK these bastards!
I have a fetish! I record sexy women being assimilated by the Borg! Drones taking off their bras and panties. Watching sexy women turn pale and their hair fall out. And watch their bodies being grafted in Borg body armor!