End the New Jersey Testing Mandate

There's a party in my WIFE'S PANTIES and my PENIS is the guest of honor!

I promise to do jobs that go UNDONE!

My penis, Eduardo, wants to go mountain climbing. I told Eduardo, mountain climbing is dangerous. He might lose his grip!

My father asked me if I want to be a CHEF like him. I said no, I'd rather be a MAN!

I had to leave high school, I turned 40.

One of my employees put a whoopie cushion on my chair and when I sat down, he set off stink bombs to make it look like I had gas! I yelled at him, YOU'RE TERMINATED, YOU ARE TERMINATED!

I intend on detonating a BIOGENIC charge in Earth's atmosphere. It will infect all people with Borg nanoprobe viruses. I'm gonna turn people into drones.

My girlfriend, Mandy, broke up with me. She wants her nylon leopard thong back!☹️

General Arkardy Ourmov, head of space division.

I told my wife to ASSUME THE POSITION! She spread her legs to open up her V-A-G-I-N-A!

This is insane and it has to stop

I love Starfleet. They put NCC all over their ships. I love NCC!

My boss said, I need to treat him with more respect! I said, would you SHUT THE F-U-C-K UP, FOR ONCE?!

I've had it with my son's complaining! I told him to GATHER UP HIS PUS and get out!

My daughter, Amber, needs 6XL size panties. Maybe she should work at the PIGGLY WIGGLY store!

My daughter, Amber, needs 6XL size panties. When I held her underwear out to see the size, I was like, WHOA! I'm putting that PORKER on a diet! PRONTO!

My husband finally EXPIRED! I thought he'd never die the old SKINFLINT!

My wife sm*cks me when I ask other women their panty sizes and what color they're wearing!

Walter! If you'd done your job, known your place, we'd all be fine, you stupid SON OF A BEACH!

My father asked me if I wanted to become a CHEF like him when I grow up. I said, no, I rather be a MAN!