In life we face many injustices, wether it be towards race, religion, or in this case, the brightest man of this generation. In times like this human beings must make a decision to watch evil as it unfolds, or stand up against the hatred. Understand that Mr. Sandler has put smiles on the faces of millions and thus in his time of need we must defend him with our hearts and souls. So I address this petition to the second most powerful man in the world. President Obama, hear my cries and please make America's primary focus to defend Mr. Sandler. I understand the request might seem unreasonable, but when explained simply, the dream becomes more feasible. There are currently over 500,000 men and women enlisted in the united states army. If we were to take 100 of those brave men and women and station them within a fair distance of Mr. Sandlers estate awaiting the moment Adam is in need of defending we might possibly be able to defend Adam. But alas, the word possibly varies from the phrase definitely. In order to increase Mr. Sandlers odds of being defended I propose our cause is granted the following:
-100 Army Soldiers active at all times (24/7, holidays as well)