Petition to get Jake Essak to replace Andy Rooney as
dan harmon 0

Petition to get Jake Essak to replace Andy Rooney as "60 Minutes" resident curmudgeon.

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When Andy Rooney dies, I think Jake Essak should totally take his place on "60 Minutes." Some suggested topics which can be tackled immediately: - Why do people think stoned kids are as funny as other things on the internet? - Stoned kids totally didn't create internet humor. Who would believe that? - Why are there so many cats on the internet? - Babies aren't funny! I hate you, internet! - Film, and why I hate it. - Stop saying I get paid by the government! That joke isn't funny even though you're all laughing about it and I'm not! - Why is it I can't relate to things that other people like? - Why is it they call it "taking a dump" instead of "leaving a dump?" I mean, you're not TAKING it anywhere. etc.

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iPetitions is powered by everyday people — not corporations. With nearly 50 million signatures, we've helped spark change in local communities across the globe. We don't take corporate money. We rely on people like you.