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Bring back Sugar Cookie Eggnog

1,462 Comments

G
GUY
3 years ago

KATIE SEARFOSS overpowered me and injected her assimilation tubules into my neck. I lost consciousness in her cleavage. When I woke up, I was bald and pale. KATIE said she injected her nanoprobes into my bloodstream.

L
LESZEK
3 years ago

We decorated our Christmas tree today. I hung my wife's BRA'S and THONGS on the tree as ornaments!

G
GIMP
3 years ago

I told the COP/PIG, I wanted to be arrested. When he refused, I threw a trash can at his car. The COP/PIG told me, mission accomplished, I'm going to the POKEY!

C
COLM
3 years ago

When I saw my wife, I said, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! When I saw my baby, I said, I KNOW WHAT THIS IS!

W
WIFE
3 years ago

My DI¢K-FACE husband made fun of my butt and thighs, so I put on my jeans that push up my butt and sat on his baby bl*nkey. I told him my bubble butt is crushing his bl*nkey!

M
MR NICE
3 years ago Featured

Earlier I made fun of my wife's 6XL size butt and thick thighs. So she sat on my baby bl*nkey. She knows how much I love my baby bl*nkey. She saw how sad I was seeing her butt and thick thighs bulging on my baby bl*nkey. My bl*nkey looked so crushed.

M
MR NICE
3 years ago Featured

Earlier I made fun of my wife's 6XL size butt and thick thighs. So she sat on my baby bl%nkey. She knows how much I love my baby bl*nkey. She saw how sad I looked seeing her butt and thick thighs bulging on my baby bl*nkey. My bl*nkey looked so crushed.

W
WIFE
3 years ago

My husband is an A$$ HOLE. My thighs got so thick when I sat down. NO MORE SHORTS!

M
MR NICE
3 years ago

When my wife sat down in shorts, I made fun of how thick her thighs were. Damn! She crushed the entire chair. That's why she doesn't wear shorts no more!

P
PATRIOTIC AMERICAN
3 years ago

During the AUSTRALIAN -AMERICAN war, I took shrapnel to my PENIS! Now, I can't feel a thing. NOT A DAMN THING!!

H
HUSBAND
3 years ago

My wife bought FULL COVERAGE PANTIES instead of THONGS! I confiscated the PANTIES. She shouldn't even be wearing PANTIES anyway.

G
GIMP
3 years ago Featured

I went shopping today. I put back the hamburger buns and when I went back to get them, I saw an old lady grab them. I'm sitting at home thinking about them hamburger buns that never came home with me. I'm sorry, hamburger buns. Excuse me, I need to be alone.

M
MATT DUMBASS
3 years ago

I thought a DINGO was RINGO STARR'S brother! RINGO and DINGO.

D
DOOR AJAR
3 years ago

I don't know why I stole my wife's panty and smelled it, BUT I DID! I don't know why I jacked off in public, BUT I DID!

F
Frischman
3 years ago

Someone bumped into me! Who touched me? WHO TOUCHED MY PANTS?!

J
Jasmine Sykes
3 years ago

This is the best eggnog ever!

E
ENDICORE
3 years ago

I told my wife, I represent PERFECTION! Something she is not! Tonight I sleep in the yard!

H
HORNY TOAD
3 years ago

I asked KATIE SEARFOSS if she would sit on my baby bl*nkey. I wanted her to leave her sexy butt smell on bl*nkey. She left her sexy cucumber melon -perfume butt smell on bl*nkey!

H
HORNY TOAD
3 years ago

I told KATIE SEARFOSS I wanted to know her panty size. She said she's a size 6, medium size.

H
HORNY TOAD
3 years ago

I asked KATIE SEARFOSS what kind of panty she was wearing. She said she was wearing her black leopard nylon thong.