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Bring back Sugar Cookie Eggnog

1,462 Comments

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FREDDY BISTROW
3 years ago

I thought I could fight Joe Casale of Pittston, Pennsylvania, even though he's a fat, Borg tactical drone. It was over in seconds. He held me with his right arm, made his left hand in a fist at my neck and injected his thick assimilation tubules in my neck. I just rubbed his ass while being assimilated. I'm becoming a drone.

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Mosquito Valentino
3 years ago

I'm just a lab rat to my wife. She's implanting NANO-CORTICAL FIBERS in my brain. She's going to irradiate my brain cells. Farewell!

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Anonymous Andy
3 years ago

Whoever wrote that McKean comment, I'm not amused. Those words make me feel like throwing up!

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McKean
3 years ago

Which are you.... A. SPIC B. GUIDO C. FAGG0T D. N-I-G-G-E-R

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ENTERTAINMENT
3 years ago

We now return to Gilligan's island MARY ANN: my entire lingerie collection is missing! THE SKIPPER: somebody stole those panties. (Canned laughter)

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Billy Bob
3 years ago

I snorted some bad mugwort!

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Garth
3 years ago

Mike! The next time you feel the urge to steal my wife's panties, remember this: I can erase you from history. It would be as though you never existed!

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Celine Widdick
3 years ago

In case you wanted to know, I wear XS size panties!

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JOKE MAN
3 years ago

My wife said her skin was feeling ROUGH. Then I said, Oh, ROUGH, just the way her mother likes it!

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Fekkish
3 years ago

We WERE going to have potatoes for dinner, but I picked up the hot boiling pot and dropped it! Pot made a loud banging sound. Hot water and potatoes everywhere!

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Eddie Penetti
3 years ago

MARYBETH BROWN of Pittston, Pennsylvania, is fat. She had a huge shapely bubble butt. She's a Borg tactical drone. She overpowered me in seconds. When she injected her thick assimilation tubules into my neck, I just grabbed her big shapely bubble butt!

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FARMER DUMB ASS
3 years ago

Do watermelon plants need a lot of water?

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PHIL
3 years ago

This isn't chocolate pudding in my underwear!

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JAYDEN and JAGGER SIZEMORE
3 years ago

We're the sons of Tom Sizemore. Our father finally died. We thought he'd never go, the old SKINFLINT! We get his money! He made a loud wet fart sound as he EXPIRED!

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MR NICE
3 years ago

TOM SIZEMORE is a worthless corpse now! He's probably being gutted and drained of blood like a fish! Happy holidays to his family!

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MR NICE
3 years ago

TOM SIZEMORE FINALLY DIED!!! Break out the beer and cook up the spicy paraka wings. We're having a party! Enjoy hell SIZEMORE!

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GIMP
3 years ago

That last guy was so full of crap! We all know WOMEN ARE MADE OF SAND!

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MAD
3 years ago

I got this call about a boat I supposedly won. When I went down to claim it, it was a police sting! YOU FU¢KIN' PIGS! Wait til I get my hands on you! AAH!

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FATHER
3 years ago

My brain farts never end! My son and his friend asked me to name an animal with THREE letters in its name! I said ALLIGATOR! Bastard kids couldn't stop laughing!

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PigWart
3 years ago

My name is Dave PigWartshafter. My friends call me PigWart for short.