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Bring back Sugar Cookie Eggnog

1,462 Comments

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Benjamin Ernst
3 years ago

My son was born today. When I held him for the first time, I dropped him! He landed on his head! Not a good start ☹️

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MATT DUMBASS
3 years ago

When I got shot the other day, I said:IS THAT A BULLET?

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MATT DUMBASS
3 years ago

There was a shooting in my neighborhood. When I heard the gunshots, I said: THAT SOUNDED LIKE---

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BIG ED
3 years ago

My wife says with all the farting I do, my UNDERWEAR could be used as a BIO-WEAPON!

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Ventura
3 years ago

Nothing but SLACK-JAWED FAGG0TS in this country!

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BOSS
3 years ago

I caught my employees playing their playstation five at work! I asked them if they want an ASSIGNMENT SLIP or a PINK SLIP?!

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HUSBAND
3 years ago

My wife put on THREE perfumes at once! She smells like an ITALIAN WH0RE!

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Walt
3 years ago

I ate some bad TEX MEX, so I'm indisposed. TAKING A DUMP INDISPOSED!

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GIMP
3 years ago

I gave up SLEEPING. It's a bad habit, like smoking.

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Belinda
3 years ago

Ch*rmaine tore up all my sons stuff! THATS NOT RIGHT! My son missed Sunday s*rvice cause of her! THATS NOT RIGHT!

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Charmaine
3 years ago

If I'd a did anything to B*LINDA or her son-- I'd a cut her thr*at and his! I ain't to be played with!

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Charmaine
3 years ago

B*LINDA! Your mother's a b*tch, that's why she gave you up for adoption! Ya, my mother raised me! Stupid and a b*tching-ating!

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Charmaine
3 years ago

Because her son stole somebody's drugs---cr*ck ---and smoked it up! He got h*gh fourteen times in a row, nobody would take him in!

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Charmaine
3 years ago

The two lady cops that were here, we done talking about stuff. I came up to my apartment to be by myself and read the bible. Then all of a sudden, HER, HER SON, HER SON GIRLFRIEND, they all came up here and all tried to jump on me!

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Charmaine
3 years ago

That doesn't make no sense! She was in here tearing stuff up, that's how she got the cut on her arm! I DIDN'T TOUCH HER!

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DARION BASCO
3 years ago

My wife sm*cks me when I ask other women their panty sizes and what color they're wearing!

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SINGER
3 years ago

Ay, yi, yi, yi, slustrin and le glory. I don't know about pechu ---(explosion)(singing stopped)

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DIRK
3 years ago

My daughter has emotional problems. When she didn't get what she wanted, she grabbed a megaphone and started screaming into it. Neighbors weren't happy!

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Garth
3 years ago

Remember that nickelodeon show ROCKET POWER where they stuck their fingers up their asses?

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ENDICORE
3 years ago

I asked my wife if she seen my SEX COULDRON anywhere?