Husband: I work all day. Where's dinner?
WIfe: I didn't come home in time to cook something big, but---
Husband: What is this? Pizza?!
WIfe I worked today too, honey, I didn't have time--
Husband: Dinner ready is pizza!!
WIfe: Honey, don't be so angry. LET GO OF ME! YOU'RE HURTING ME!!
Husband: You wanna see what hurts?! You wanna see what hurts!
(Punches wife, wife goes flying)
Husband: That's what hurts! THAT'S WHAT HURTS!!
(WIfe crying)
P
PERCY LIVERMORE
4 years ago
This hot blonde wanted to have sex with me! But all I did was talk about my bug collection. By the time I was done, she wasn't in the mood! I BORED HER LEGS SHUT!
B
BAD ASS
4 years ago
My boss said I had to work an extra shift! I told him, well listen chief. You opened this FU¢KING business. Now I gotta deal with it?! I don't have time for this BULL$HIT!!
M
Michael
4 years ago
I like sex. BUT I HAVE NO PLACE IN MY LIFE FOR IT NOW!!!!!
D
De Lancie
4 years ago
No place in your life for sex?! Michael, are you some kind of MICRO-BRAIN?!
M
McBane
4 years ago
All I wanted to do was deliver UNICEF pennies to needy children! But my plane was shot down by COMMIE-NAZIS☹️
M
Miss LaGroin
4 years ago
I guess my gambling addiction has gotten out of hand! I gave MY SON as collateral to the loan shark! Do i need professional help? You be the judge.
M
Mr McGreg
4 years ago
The babysitter I was driving home told me, if I smell her butt, that's sexual harassment! I said, with a man in the White house? Not likely! Then I laughed!
J
JOE BIDEN and KAMALA HARRIS
4 years ago
Offer no opposition to CRITICAL DILLDO THEORY or you'll be nullified.
J
JOE BIDEN and KAMALA HARRIS
4 years ago
Offer no opposition to abortions or you'll be nullified. Oh, wait! Supreme court opposed abortions! Will they be nullified?
M
MR NICE
4 years ago
I love COVID! It's wiping out the senior citizen population. Old people suck and just drain the system. Now COVID is slowly but surely exterminating old people. I LOVE COVID!
G
GIMP
4 years ago
I opened up my JAPANESE -MEXICAN restaurant. It's called SANCHEZ -SAN.
K
KROMAGG DICKBAG
4 years ago
When my people invaded earth-138, the humans tried to fight us with primitive F-18's. We destroyed thousands of them!
W
Worried
4 years ago
I'm in trouble! My friend and I were screwing around with nail guns, we were shooting nails everywhere, my neighbor came out and got a nail in his eye!
W
Worried
4 years ago
I'm in trouble! Today is a hot day, and I accidentally gave my kids loaded guns instead of skirt guns! There's blood everywhere.
F
FUNNY WORDS
4 years ago
My favorite racial slurs---
N-I-G-G-E-R
CRACKER
CHINK
S-P-IC
HEEB
WOP
DAGO
F-A-G-G-O-T
L
Lisa Kramer Sexy little Albino
4 years ago
I love sunny, warm summer days in Pittston, Pennsylvania! I wear my skimpy shorts to show off my sexiness! My legs are so firm and tan, my butt smells like perfume!
M
MAD
4 years ago
My boss told me i have to show respect for our queer employees! He'll have my resignation within the hour!
S
SEYMOUR
4 years ago
Oh man! Aunt Debbie is in her leopard bikini! Im getting so hot!
M
MAD
4 years ago
I got this phone call about a boat I won, but when I got down to claim it, it was just a police sting! YOU FU¢KIN' PIGS! Wait til I get my hands on you!!!
Husband: I work all day. Where's dinner? WIfe: I didn't come home in time to cook something big, but--- Husband: What is this? Pizza?! WIfe I worked today too, honey, I didn't have time-- Husband: Dinner ready is pizza!! WIfe: Honey, don't be so angry. LET GO OF ME! YOU'RE HURTING ME!! Husband: You wanna see what hurts?! You wanna see what hurts! (Punches wife, wife goes flying) Husband: That's what hurts! THAT'S WHAT HURTS!! (WIfe crying)
This hot blonde wanted to have sex with me! But all I did was talk about my bug collection. By the time I was done, she wasn't in the mood! I BORED HER LEGS SHUT!
My boss said I had to work an extra shift! I told him, well listen chief. You opened this FU¢KING business. Now I gotta deal with it?! I don't have time for this BULL$HIT!!
I like sex. BUT I HAVE NO PLACE IN MY LIFE FOR IT NOW!!!!!
No place in your life for sex?! Michael, are you some kind of MICRO-BRAIN?!
All I wanted to do was deliver UNICEF pennies to needy children! But my plane was shot down by COMMIE-NAZIS☹️
I guess my gambling addiction has gotten out of hand! I gave MY SON as collateral to the loan shark! Do i need professional help? You be the judge.
The babysitter I was driving home told me, if I smell her butt, that's sexual harassment! I said, with a man in the White house? Not likely! Then I laughed!
Offer no opposition to CRITICAL DILLDO THEORY or you'll be nullified.
Offer no opposition to abortions or you'll be nullified. Oh, wait! Supreme court opposed abortions! Will they be nullified?
I love COVID! It's wiping out the senior citizen population. Old people suck and just drain the system. Now COVID is slowly but surely exterminating old people. I LOVE COVID!
I opened up my JAPANESE -MEXICAN restaurant. It's called SANCHEZ -SAN.
When my people invaded earth-138, the humans tried to fight us with primitive F-18's. We destroyed thousands of them!
I'm in trouble! My friend and I were screwing around with nail guns, we were shooting nails everywhere, my neighbor came out and got a nail in his eye!
I'm in trouble! Today is a hot day, and I accidentally gave my kids loaded guns instead of skirt guns! There's blood everywhere.
My favorite racial slurs--- N-I-G-G-E-R CRACKER CHINK S-P-IC HEEB WOP DAGO F-A-G-G-O-T
I love sunny, warm summer days in Pittston, Pennsylvania! I wear my skimpy shorts to show off my sexiness! My legs are so firm and tan, my butt smells like perfume!
My boss told me i have to show respect for our queer employees! He'll have my resignation within the hour!
Oh man! Aunt Debbie is in her leopard bikini! Im getting so hot!
I got this phone call about a boat I won, but when I got down to claim it, it was just a police sting! YOU FU¢KIN' PIGS! Wait til I get my hands on you!!!