Tiny Tim has the dreaded RETARDITIS! No, say he will be spared.
E
E Scrooge
3 years ago
When they told me that my friend was dyin', I said, what can I do about it? If he's dyin', he's dyin'!
E
E Scrooge
3 years ago
The ghost of Christmas past visited me, I shot it dead with my mini-gun!
F
FIRST NOEL
3 years ago
For Christmas, I bought my wife a PLAYSTATION 5. My wife bought me a single thing of GUM! MERRY FU¢KIN' CHRISTMAS!
F
Fekkish
3 years ago
I've had it with my boyfriend disobeying me! I used my assimilation tubules to inject my nanoprobes into his LEFT CEREBRAL HEMISPHERE. The nanoprobes created an implant in his brain, one he can't resist. Now he just sits there and drools!
F
Fekkish
3 years ago
I hate my wife's friend! Marybeth comes over in yoga pants that look like they've been painted on! He butt crack completely shows threw the yoga pants, and she sits on my couch! I have to spray it after she leaves. Can't people dress decent no-more?
E
Esmeralda Pushog
3 years ago
In case you wanted to know, I got my PERIOD STAIN all over the bedsheets!
L
LESZEK
3 years ago
When my party guests weren't looking, I MASTURBATED and got my SPERM in the EGGNOG! Happy holidays!
L
LESZEK
3 years ago
My neighbors looked grossed out when they saw I decorated my x-mas tree with my wife's BRA'S and THONGS as ornaments!
B
BAD ASS
3 years ago
My boss said, I need to treat him with more respect. So I grabbed him by his throat and then pointed my finger in his face!
D
DEPORTEE
3 years ago
Goodbye to my Juan, goodbye Rosalita, adios me amigo, have you seen Maria?
M
MR SMART
3 years ago
My new marriage isn't doing good already. My new wife is cruel, insulting. She knows I'm Italian, she calls me DAGO and says my ass is WOPPED!
M
MR SMART
3 years ago
I didn't know the name of the ship in the movie TITANIC! People can't stop laughing at me ☹️☹️☹️
C
Charmaine
3 years ago
The two lady cops that were here, we done talkin' about stuff. I came up to my apartment to read the bible. Then all of a sudden HER, HER SON, HER SON GIRLFRIEND, they all came up here and tried to jump on me!!
C
Charmaine
3 years ago
That doesn't make no sense! SHE was in here tearing stuff up, that's how she got the cut on HER arm! I DIDN'T TOUCH HER!!
E
Esmeralda Pushog
3 years ago
The ALBINO isn't from heaven. He comes from the stinkin' flames of hell!!
L
LEECOW
3 years ago
When the police told me my wife was RAPED and EXECUTED, gunshot wound to the head, I couldn't stop laughing!
E
EMBARRASSED
3 years ago
My wife is a disgrace. Instead of buying furniture, she installed a STRIPPER POLE in our living room! My friends are to ashamed to come over.
L
LEECOW
3 years ago
My penis, Eduardo, plays the trumpet. My penis spits while playing the trumpet.
L
LEECOW
3 years ago
My neighbors, have the last name of GERMANY. I asked if they were NAZIS.
Tiny Tim has the dreaded RETARDITIS! No, say he will be spared.
When they told me that my friend was dyin', I said, what can I do about it? If he's dyin', he's dyin'!
The ghost of Christmas past visited me, I shot it dead with my mini-gun!
For Christmas, I bought my wife a PLAYSTATION 5. My wife bought me a single thing of GUM! MERRY FU¢KIN' CHRISTMAS!
I've had it with my boyfriend disobeying me! I used my assimilation tubules to inject my nanoprobes into his LEFT CEREBRAL HEMISPHERE. The nanoprobes created an implant in his brain, one he can't resist. Now he just sits there and drools!
I hate my wife's friend! Marybeth comes over in yoga pants that look like they've been painted on! He butt crack completely shows threw the yoga pants, and she sits on my couch! I have to spray it after she leaves. Can't people dress decent no-more?
In case you wanted to know, I got my PERIOD STAIN all over the bedsheets!
When my party guests weren't looking, I MASTURBATED and got my SPERM in the EGGNOG! Happy holidays!
My neighbors looked grossed out when they saw I decorated my x-mas tree with my wife's BRA'S and THONGS as ornaments!
My boss said, I need to treat him with more respect. So I grabbed him by his throat and then pointed my finger in his face!
Goodbye to my Juan, goodbye Rosalita, adios me amigo, have you seen Maria?
My new marriage isn't doing good already. My new wife is cruel, insulting. She knows I'm Italian, she calls me DAGO and says my ass is WOPPED!
I didn't know the name of the ship in the movie TITANIC! People can't stop laughing at me ☹️☹️☹️
The two lady cops that were here, we done talkin' about stuff. I came up to my apartment to read the bible. Then all of a sudden HER, HER SON, HER SON GIRLFRIEND, they all came up here and tried to jump on me!!
That doesn't make no sense! SHE was in here tearing stuff up, that's how she got the cut on HER arm! I DIDN'T TOUCH HER!!
The ALBINO isn't from heaven. He comes from the stinkin' flames of hell!!
When the police told me my wife was RAPED and EXECUTED, gunshot wound to the head, I couldn't stop laughing!
My wife is a disgrace. Instead of buying furniture, she installed a STRIPPER POLE in our living room! My friends are to ashamed to come over.
My penis, Eduardo, plays the trumpet. My penis spits while playing the trumpet.
My neighbors, have the last name of GERMANY. I asked if they were NAZIS.