We WERE going to have a home baked cake for dessert. No one told me the pan wqs hot, I pixked it up, burned myself and dropped the cake. Cake and icing everyone. No more cake.☹️
F
FATHER
3 years ago
We WERE going to have potatoes for dinner. When I picked up the boiling pot, I burned myself and dropped the pot. Pot made loud banging sounds as it hit the floor. Potatoes and hot water everywhere!
F
FATHER
3 years ago
We WERE going to have a cookout today. When i picked up my tiny grill while the charcoal wqs still flaming, I burned myself and dropped the grill. Grill made loud banging sounds when it hit the ground. Flaming charcoal and broken grill parts everywhere. Kids couldn't stop laughing.
M
MATT DUMBASS
3 years ago
I thought ERNEST BORGNINE was the leader of the Borg on star trek!
J
JOHN WU
3 years ago
I HATE Z-NATION! They killed off LT. MONG!!
M
Mysterion
3 years ago
I opened up my JAPANESE-MEXICAN restaurant. It's called MIGUEL-SAN.
L
LEECOW
3 years ago
How am I supposed to get horny with my wife wearing PERIOD PROOF PANTIES!
D
DOOR AJAR
3 years ago
When I was cutting the pizza I cooked, my balls were jiggling in my underwear.
W
WIFE
3 years ago
I found my husband's collection of DONKEY PORN magazines. Pretty sick stuff.
S
SADISTIC FUCK
3 years ago
When I play Call of duty WW2, I purposely allow the German soldier in the last bunker to stab me. I enjoy hearing my character scream NO, as the beyonet cames down on him.
M
McSped
3 years ago
Sometimes, when I put oranges in a circle. I think of my thoughts and they make me laugh!
We WERE going to have potatoes for dinner. When I picked up the boiling pot, I got burned and dropped the pot. The pot made a loud banging sound when it hit the ground. Potatoes and hot water everywhere.
P
POLITICAL PLUS
3 years ago
CONSERVATISM=NAZISM
D
DOOR AJAR
3 years ago
I love watching the Nazi in Call of duty WWII slowly stab my character. Watching someone being put to a slow death.♥️
L
LEECOW
3 years ago
My state is in a draught, they're asking us to conserve water. I told them about
I go a MONTH without BATHING.
D
DOOR AJAR
3 years ago
Since my PENIS can't function, my wife jammed a SEX TOY up my ANAL HOLE. She says shes gonna slice off my non-functional PENIS. Very sad.
M
MR NICE
3 years ago
I had the guys from the mental hospital come get my mother today. I enjoyed every moment. Watching them pick her up, my mother begging me not to do it, she begged for help. Wish I recorded the whole thing.
K
KRISTATOS
3 years ago
YOU HAVE DONE THIS! Poisoned her against me! I'll deal with you Ms. Brink, as I deal with everyone who betrays me!
C
Charles
3 years ago
My wife says I have more hair on my BALLS then on my HEAD!
We WERE going to have a home baked cake for dessert. No one told me the pan wqs hot, I pixked it up, burned myself and dropped the cake. Cake and icing everyone. No more cake.☹️
We WERE going to have potatoes for dinner. When I picked up the boiling pot, I burned myself and dropped the pot. Pot made loud banging sounds as it hit the floor. Potatoes and hot water everywhere!
We WERE going to have a cookout today. When i picked up my tiny grill while the charcoal wqs still flaming, I burned myself and dropped the grill. Grill made loud banging sounds when it hit the ground. Flaming charcoal and broken grill parts everywhere. Kids couldn't stop laughing.
I thought ERNEST BORGNINE was the leader of the Borg on star trek!
I HATE Z-NATION! They killed off LT. MONG!!
I opened up my JAPANESE-MEXICAN restaurant. It's called MIGUEL-SAN.
How am I supposed to get horny with my wife wearing PERIOD PROOF PANTIES!
When I was cutting the pizza I cooked, my balls were jiggling in my underwear.
I found my husband's collection of DONKEY PORN magazines. Pretty sick stuff.
When I play Call of duty WW2, I purposely allow the German soldier in the last bunker to stab me. I enjoy hearing my character scream NO, as the beyonet cames down on him.
Sometimes, when I put oranges in a circle. I think of my thoughts and they make me laugh!
GUY: the 12 Guage auto-loader. CLERK: that's Italian. It can pump or auto. GUY: the .45 longslide, with laser sighting. CLERK: these are brand new; we just got them in. Touch the trigger to make the laser come on, you can't miss. Anything else? GUY: a phased plasma rifle in the 40-WATT range. CLERK: OY, just what you see, pal. GUY: the uzi nine millimeter. CLERK: you know your weapons, buddy. Any of these are ideal for home defense. So, in, which will it be? GUY: ALL. CLERK: I may close early today. There's a 15 day wait on the hand guns, but the rifles you can take right now. ( GUY loaed the shotgun) ( CLERK saw him load the gun) CLERK: OY, you can't do that. GUY: WRONG ( GUY blew away the clerk with the shotgun) THE END! Copyright©MMXXIII
We WERE going to have potatoes for dinner. When I picked up the boiling pot, I got burned and dropped the pot. The pot made a loud banging sound when it hit the ground. Potatoes and hot water everywhere.
CONSERVATISM=NAZISM
I love watching the Nazi in Call of duty WWII slowly stab my character. Watching someone being put to a slow death.♥️
My state is in a draught, they're asking us to conserve water. I told them about I go a MONTH without BATHING.
Since my PENIS can't function, my wife jammed a SEX TOY up my ANAL HOLE. She says shes gonna slice off my non-functional PENIS. Very sad.
I had the guys from the mental hospital come get my mother today. I enjoyed every moment. Watching them pick her up, my mother begging me not to do it, she begged for help. Wish I recorded the whole thing.
YOU HAVE DONE THIS! Poisoned her against me! I'll deal with you Ms. Brink, as I deal with everyone who betrays me!
My wife says I have more hair on my BALLS then on my HEAD!