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Forward To Our Birthright

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For too long has Wisconsin been the buttmonkey of her Midwestern siblings, for too long has she suffered the injustices of history!

This petition would implore the State of Wisconsin to reclaim her Birthright from those who do not deserve it - the Governor, should he choose to respect the will of the People, will give the orders that will both our brave men and women of the National Guard and organized militias to seize control of the various territories which our great land deserves, including but not limited to the:

  • Upper Peninsula of Michigan (Superior)
  • Duluth, MN (Superior's Rebellious Big Sister)
  • Minnesota North Shore
  • Minneapolis-Saint Paul, MN
  • Chicago Metropolitan Area, IL (Chicagoland, literally the only thing worth taking in Illinois)
  • Like the northern fifth of Michigan's Lower Peninsula or something.
  • Whatever islands and stray pastures catch our fancy.

Following the annexation of these territories back into the Wisconsinite Motherland, Wisconsin shall attempt to legally defend these claims against the inevitable legal onslaught which the federal government will level against it. Should the American government fail to see reason, Wisconsin shall secede and form the Free Republic of Greater Wisconsin.

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