We have invested our money into this game in the hope our investment would be rewarded with a positive return on fun, but our entertainment speculation has thus far reaped no dividend and we, the amusement hedge fund managers are demanding results. If things do not change, we will see a negative equity of enjoyment in this fiscal quarter. Also we are bored with our other games, which is frankly unacceptable.

We, the undersigned, do pledge to withdraw our financial underwriting of this computer game if Runic Games does not meet the obligations it has yet to make in the future! Because, as we all know, giving a company money just encourages them to take longer in the hope of getting more money to make things even longer. Zeno himself predicted this paradox! 

 We, the undersigned, will take our twenty dollars elsewhere and not buy the game later even if it is quite good because it's been so well polished. May god have mercy on your souls.