Throwing Ducks at Old People
We, the undersigned, wish to see the noble and historic sport of THROWING DUCKS AT OLD PEOPLE included in the next Olympic Games. Too often has the International Olympic Committee disdainfully overlooked this meritorious and internationally enjoyed pastime, too often. For too long has our joyous and dignified game been confined to seedy public toilets and private beaches where it has been forced to compete with perverts and frisbees. But no longer will we or our feathered friends be denied our Zeus given right to be athletes, to be OLYMPIANS. No longer will we be reduced to skulking around care homes in bulging coats that barely muffle the sound of an eager quack. No more. Today we proudly emerge from our feathery closets to be counted. Today we quack as one. TODAY WE MAKE OUR STAND.