We, the united dwarves, elves, Halflings and yes, humans, petition the all-mighty Stephen Colbert to come to our humble gaming convention in Charleston, WV (We call it Charcon), where he may sit in on whatever game he wishes (honest, we’ll push people out of the way), dance with the kids dressed up like comic book characters and maybe hang out with people painted blue for no real apparent reason.

Someone will even buy him beer –or—if not beer, all the energy drinks, beef jerky and funyons the comedian and commentator could reasonably consume during an eight-hour dungeon crawl.

Our belief is that it has been far too long since Mr. Colbert has been to Charleston, to West Virginia or to any place where he might be expected to get a good biscuit –and knowing that the soon-to-be late night talk show titan has a soft spot in his heart for geeky things and gaming in general, we also feel like this might be a good chance for him to get his game on with his geekier, less washed people.

Who knows? Some of these people may be members of Anonymous and Mr. Colbert might need Jimmy Fallon’s embarrassing personal information made public –besides the regular stream of embarrassing things he reveals on his show.

We, the undersigned, demand Stephen Colbert come to Charleston and play some games. It’s for his own good, too.