andy thetwig 0

Terminate Paris Hilton

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To: The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger Paris Whitney Hilton is a pathetic American fame seeker. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. Born with a silver spoon in her mouth, she has a total disregard for her species. Hilton is notable for her leading roles on the teen sex education phenomenon "One Night in Paris" (her oral abilities outshine the film's modest budget) She has also catalogued her personality failings in the TV series "The Simple Life", and been C-List offal in the bargain bin horror travesty "House of Wax". She has also been ridiculed at her ineffectual attempts at being a model, celebrity spokesperson, singer, and writer. Her repeated forays into performing arts without any training or effort are mystifying in view of her vast wealth. As most of America now knows, Ms. Hilton was just charged in a Los Angeles court with DUI and sentenced to 45 days in Century Regional Detention Facility in California beginning on or before June 5, 2007. Woohoo! We, the World, are delighted that this overexposed lush has been the person to be used as an example that Drink Driving is wrong. Alcohol-related motor vehicle crashes kill someone every 31 minutes and nonfatally injure someone every two minutes in the US alone (NHTSA 2006). If she gets away with it, intellectually regressive celebrity worshippers everywhere will be reassured that increased wealth and fame can raise you above the law. In this petition, we ask that you also take into account her much more serious crimes against our cultural wellbeing. Paris has an overwhelmingly negative effect on our shared human experience. She seems incapable of keeping her beaver in hibernation. Despite unlimited resources, her songs and films are dismal tripe. She struts around muddy red carpets like an emaciated crack flamingo, fucking everything that moves. We therefore request that Governor T-800 fulfil his programming and terminate Paris Hilton without delay. The future of our world is at stake. Paris must not be allowed to enter the public consciousness again. Above all, Paris must not be allowed to contribute to the gene pool. WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT! Please sign to tell The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger of the State of California, to think about the destruction of this young woman who has made a mortal error and deserves a smack around the chops like so many others on our great planet. We hope and expect The Governor will understand and grant this unusual but important request in good faith to Ms. Paris Whitney Hilton.

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