1. I will always put your needs before my own.

3. I bathe twice daily

4. I know how to do laundry.

5. I no longer get butt hurt about doing dishes.

6. I do in fact give excellent back rubs

7. I also give full body massages with happy endings.

8. I am gainfully employed

9. I'll take you to 3d black light mini golf.

10. I like walking dogs.

11. I am very motivated to improve my life.

12. your kid loves me, like alot.

13. I can stream any movie in existence with my firestick

14. I have an xbox one

15. I have a playstation 4

16. I have learned that people should almost always come before video games.

17. I like taking people out to do things that are new and exciting.

18. I will wait for you to land after you parachute and hug you and be glad you survived

19. we can go to europe.

20. you'll get to live with number 3 from multiplicity

21. I will stare at you adoringly all the time.

22.I can give you diet pepsi all the time.

23. I will get up and make you coffee everyday, and not bug you until you have drank half the pot.

24. I will randomly slap your butt

25. you will never have to open your own door again

26. I bought strips that prevent snoring

27. I own batman underwear

28. I own the dark knight trilogy on blu-ray

29. I own the star wars saga collectors

30. I will give you tacos and touch your butt.