1. I will always put your needs before my own.
3. I bathe twice daily
4. I know how to do laundry.
5. I no longer get butt hurt about doing dishes.
6. I do in fact give excellent back rubs
7. I also give full body massages with happy endings.
8. I am gainfully employed
9. I'll take you to 3d black light mini golf.
10. I like walking dogs.
11. I am very motivated to improve my life.
12. your kid loves me, like alot.
13. I can stream any movie in existence with my firestick
14. I have an xbox one
15. I have a playstation 4
16. I have learned that people should almost always come before video games.
17. I like taking people out to do things that are new and exciting.
18. I will wait for you to land after you parachute and hug you and be glad you survived
19. we can go to europe.
20. you'll get to live with number 3 from multiplicity
21. I will stare at you adoringly all the time.
22.I can give you diet pepsi all the time.
23. I will get up and make you coffee everyday, and not bug you until you have drank half the pot.
24. I will randomly slap your butt
25. you will never have to open your own door again
26. I bought strips that prevent snoring
27. I own batman underwear
28. I own the dark knight trilogy on blu-ray
29. I own the star wars saga collectors
30. I will give you tacos and touch your butt.