Stop Brad NOW!
Do you care about the continuation of humanity? Then we all must come together to stop Brad now! Brad has been getting strangers to finger his booty hole for months now and every time, without fail, he shits everywhere. If he continues at his current rate, the planet will be completely covered in shit in the next 2 weeks and with no one to stop him, we will have shit leaking out of the ozone layer by the following week.
This man is on a war path and must be stopped. If you don’t want all the dicks, pussies and assholes of this planet completely covered in shit within the next 3 weeks, please, sign this petition now. You're voice could save the world.