If you've downloaded the latest Skype update you already noticed that the emoticons have been hijacked by some wayward process that took all of the emotion out of the emoticons. For example, the smiley face: the smile looks as if it is being forced onto the face in spite of what appears to be massive amounts of bowel discomfort. Worse, the stick-out-the-tongue emoticon (called "cheeky"), which used to have a playful, fun aspect now looks as if it is performing cunninglingus--it is not even possible to use that emoticon outside of a sexual context anymore. After consulting with all of my friends and business associates and getting 100% unanimity of opinion on this matter, I hereby call upon Skype to restore the old emoticons, which were the best in the business.