Let me introduce myself...I'm Sandy, and I'm involved in a couple local theatre companies. One of which is having a Murder Mystery party for its board members, entitled the "Ho Ho Homicide" I've been so graciously invited...but here's my dilemma...

I checked plus one, and now I am in search of that special plus one sense I'm single as fuck. I have done some serious thinking, nights with wine, day drinking with Coors Light, and afternoons with Ibuprofen. It always comes back to one man...

It would be my dream to have Shia LaBeouf as my date to this soiree. Heres where I need you help. I'm just a girl from Elko, NV and I need him to see how much I want this and to expect my invite. So I need as much signatures and support to get him to notice this innovation.

Formally, Shia, Will you go to the "Ho Ho Homicide with me?" I promise you a fun time with some great folks who love to just be themselves. It's the best Christmas Murder Mystery that has ever graced Nevada.

I'll hit the heart strings if I have to. I've never been to prom and once I broke my finger and had to drive myself to the hospital. Very traumatic.

So what do you say Shia...Will you do me the honor of being my best half for the evening? All jokes aside, I'd love your company.

Party is next month, time is wasting away. Sign away and lets get his attention.

P.S. I have killer legs...just saying.