Please unlock our cage doors and allow us to communicate as if it were the 20th century
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Long ago, in a galaxy that we herein exist. There wast born an app, named Slack, which many bright and shiny features. The crown jewel was the ability to @here and @channel or something- but anyway, it's crown hath been striped and it's jewels plundered, and it hast been cast into a cage, rotting away, pinning for the light of day or whatever. Please unlock our cage doors and allow us to communicate as if it were the 20th century with the @here crown feature.
I also hereby solemnly swear to use the power that comes with the crown RESPONSIBLY and will use my sword- I mean- compassion to help others live responsibly as well.