Please, my love, don't cut off your hair
My wife is an amazing, strong, beautiful woman and I love her immeasurably. She has an amazing head of fiery red hair even the Gods would be jealous of! I love her long hair and it compliments her hourglass figure perfectly. She recently has been making veiled, and at times, overt threats against her hair which has done nothing to her than make her appear even more stunning; which is a testament to the hair because it is hard to improve on the perfection that is my wife. I would love for her to realize the benefits to her luxurious locks far outweigh her perceived hindrances. In no particular order here are a list of things she should consider before cutting it:
Long beautiful hair makes you feel like a million bucksYou have so many options from updos to ponytails, each day offers a different style
You save money by not having to get your hair trimmed every 4-6 weeks.
In many cultures hair has an almost mystical quality and it is much more than just decoration or style. In Polynesia it is an expression of your “mana”, your life force. Your long hair has been with you for many years. It is a reflection of your own health and it also carries the memory of these times within in. So basically you would be cutting off OUR memories together!
Long hair has always been the adornment of poets, composers, artists and powerful woman figures. Embrace your strong and artistic side
Did you know women with long hair tend to feel more empowered and that empowerment translates into better jobs, higher pay, and respect from colleagues. Long hair makes you appear more trustworthy and managers will likely trust you with more and more challenging task. This, in turn, makes you an asset to your company, an indispensable asset to the organization.
I debated bringing this part up but
I feel like it is my duty as a man and loving husband to air this concern. My
wife has blessed me with a beautiful baby boy. She is an amazing mom and has
breastfed him from the beginning. She even pumped diligently as he spent the
first month of his tiny life in the NICU. She has worked so hard at giving him
every advantage to excel after starting out with the disadvantage of being born
two months premature. I am concerned that we may lose ground if she makes this
drastic change in her appearance. What if our son does not recognize her? What
if he becomes scared of her? What if he loses faith in humanity? We could be
forever scarring his development with massive change to his environment. Please
sweetie, think of the children!!
I have an exceptional wife. She is an unstoppable force and has a strength of
character I have rarely seen. These were some of the chief reasons I fell in
love with her. But these very strengths could be her undoing. If she is truly
set on making this decision, perhaps this is all for not. But! If there is even
a chance she can be swayed from cutting her hair, or as I like to put it,
ending the world, I must take that chance. Please join me in this petition in
convincing this prodigious, stunning and wonderful woman, wife and mother from
making this catastrophic mistake!
Thank you,
Paul Youman
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