Today I call upon you, good citizens, to express your concern for the early nature of the bedtime of our good friend Taylor Jost. We must petition to Jarret "The Carrot" Jost to extend the leniency period on the curfew of our dearly beloved Taylor for the good of both you and I as individuals, but also for that of society. If you cannot sign this for me, then do it for America, for Justice, for Truth, for all that is holy on God's earth and sign that petition today. Thank you.