Dearest Salem,

We, the undersigned, are formally requesting that you consider buying Jude a new phone.

This request is based on several very serious and well-researched reasons, including but not limited to:

• Jude’s current phone is struggling and has been through enough.

• A new phone would significantly improve my productivity, communication, and overall quality of life.

• It would prevent future emotional distress caused by lagging, low storage, or sudden battery death.

• I am responsible, appreciative, and promise not to take this act of generosity for granted.

This petition is supported by friends who know me well and can personally vouch for the fact that:

1. I deserve it.

2. It would make me very happy.

3. Happiness = good vibes = better child.

We kindly ask you to read the comments below, where supporters explain in their own words why this decision would be wise, fair, and heroic.

Thank you for your time, consideration, and generosity.