No Brett Favre Coverage
Whereas Brett Favre retirement drama has dominated the
airwaves of ESPN for the last 4 football off-seasons;
Whereas the aforementioned coverage is boring, drawn out, and sycophantic;
Whereas ESPN and other sports outlets are delusional in their belief that their national viewing audience has an interest in the persona soap opera of Brett Favre;
Whereas Ed Werder has a creepy mustache;
Whereas valuable air time in the late winter and early spring months could and should be filled with vicious ‘Bron ‘Bron dunks;
The undersigned heretofore demand that ESPN immediately cease all coverage of a pending Brett Favre decision on retirement, unretirement, or employment with any particular NFL franchise.
Be it resolved that the undersigned refuse to watch ESPN coverage of Brett Favre retirement news up to and including an announcement of retirement or unretirement. The undersigned agree to change the channel on their television sets for the entire duration of any ESPN coverage of information regarding Brett Favre’s potential retirement, including but not limited to: considered retirement; retirement considerations; any activity of Brett Favre within the state of Mississippi; unsourced commentary from the general managers of NFL clubs regarding Brett Favre’s ability as a quarterback; Wrangler Jeans commercials; past Brett Favre retirement history; anecdotes about how it is natural to want to retire at the end of a long football season, but difficult to follow through in the spring time when competitive energy has returned; or any other information directly relating to Brett Favre’s employment.