This petition is to Andrew Hussie to make John Egbert my boyfriend (officially). This is quite vital to both mine and John's future happiness; as a protagonist, John Egbert should by now have a leading lad/lady with him. But, as unfortunate as it is, both of his potential love interests are either preoccupied by a space lesbian or a glowy vampire alien. As such, John is probably feeling pretty down in the dumps right now romance-wise! This is where I, Aubree (tumblr user ectobiologist), come in. I love John quite a lot, and would take care of him and support him in his whole hero's quest thingamajig. This would also make me happy. Come on, Hussie! I'll take good care of him and have him home by 10. I won't even try none of that whole kissing him on the porch or feeling him up in the car, no sirree. I'm a good old gal who's gonna treat him right. (And hey, bonus points, it gives him more heterosexual street cred!) Consider it.