A Letter of Support for Women Who Have Experienced Harm in Church

Stand together. Our Teacher Jesus Christ cared for women and respected them and church leaders are not exempted . !

Reconciliation can be reached if we start with openness and the truth. May we all stand with those who have been oppressed by this patriarchal paradigm.

Every. Single. Church. For 50 years.

I too have been harmed by the church's patriarchal system, though I am not an Episcopal

4 months ago Featured

Assault and abuse have been not only tolerated, but preached from pulpits, protected, and defended. It must stop.

Raising awareness is important to addressing this kind of harm. Blaming the victim starts with silence. Hopefully the harm will end with awareness.

Thank you.

4 months ago Featured

Gender discrimination must be addressed in the church. I went through it and continue to endure it. It is something that one cannot wish to happen to anyone, not even the devil. But the perpetrators take it as a joke, something to have a good laugh at and think when you react, you are emotional or weak.

4 months ago Featured

As a woman who can relate, I stand in solidarity with the females leaders and parishioners who have experienced mental, emotional, and physical harm within the walls of the Episcopal church. Change must happen. Voices speaking truth must be heard.

Tough to root out the lingering patriarchy and the abuse and predation lurking in our ecclesial shadow.

My biggest prayer is that our children grow up to love God, and love their neighbors as themselves. Yet I fear that my experience with the church has somehow damaged their experience with the church. I was only fourteen years old when a youth group leader forced me to straddle an 18 year old for a scene in a skit. We were due to compete in a competition for local Open Bible churches, and she had a vision of how my character (a demon) was supposed to emotionally attack his character (a teenager). She wanted me to get PHYSICAL. After I told her I wasn’t comfortable doing something like that with him, I was laughed at. Then I was forced to do it anyway by being shamed and pressured. It was an ongoing trend of boundary crossing that neither began nor ended in that moment nor with that particular leader. I, of course, did what they wanted in order to make everyone happy. The guy would wink and laugh because for him, it was entertaining to have a young girl on top of him like that in the middle of a church. Just as I did with all the other incidents that made me uncomfortable, I bottled it and kept moving forward. But it did not leave me unscathed. All of those moments did harm. All of those moments had consequences. I do not trust church leaders easily. I’m hesitant to commit to activities or to have my children participate in things. Because in addition to allowing “peers” to cross boundaries with my physical body, I felt as a girl who was “mature for my age” I was often put in the role of mother, caretaker, and leader long before I was ready. A few years later in high after they asked me to lead that youth group “class.” (A child leading children her own age and older—because she sounded mature.) I’m forty-three years old now, and I have a fourteen year old daughter. I still think about that moment at play practice—horrified at the thought that an adult my age would ever think it was ok for a girl her age to be forced to put her body in such an intimate position with

We must protect and stand up for our sisters, and for all who are victims of abuse and power plays.

No one should have to feel like this!

I will support this movement to create a safe atmosphere for women to speak out and foe changes to happen.

I hope that this movement might bring about a needed step / person / resource in the church between the extreme step of Title IV “conduct unbecoming” proceedings and the chasm of the silence of inaction and just simply letting people get away with their bad behaviors and hurting others professionally, personally, or spiritually. There doesn’t seem to be any help unless one decides to file a Title IV and go through the national intake officer. There are no steps before that…..it seems. Are there? We decided not to pursue this. In that delicate yet yawning chasm, there is no way to help the harmer to do better or receive training to address their process or behavior. There also should be a way to discreetly review / address behaviors and trends of all levels of authority in the church by the next level of authority.

Praying for repentance, transformation, and thriving for all women leaders in the Church and beyond.

Thank you for sharing awareness of this matter.

Thank you this opportunity to resist.

4 months ago Featured

As spouse of church organist/choirmsster, I was sexually assaulted by then Rector. Vestrynreloved him, offered no support to me. Separately, I was harassed throughout one-year tenure as Interim for reporting parish history of sexual assault of women AND grooming of boys by two different male parishioners.

Amen.