We, as loyal and dedicated Washington Wizards fans, are concerned that either (a) the Wizards team will fall back into the lottery, or; (b) A huge blizzard will strike the East Coast bringing 2 feet of snow to the mid-Atlantic. We can do something about item a, above. We DEMAND that Wizards GM Ernie Grunfeld demonstrate his exceptional basketball knowledge and expertise by signing Laron \"God\" Profit to an NBA \"MAX\" contract so that he may lead us to multiple NBA championships. We demand action on this matter. It\'s bad enough that we have ugly uniforms, a bad dance squad, an ugly blue mascot, \"Dress your Dog\" concessions, Susan O\'Malley promotions like \"Singles Nite\", and Buckhantz screaming \"dagger\" or \"backbreaker\" during TV broadcasts. Don\'t let us also have to endure a mediocre team Ernie. We\'re counting on you. In Ernie and Laron we trust!

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