Philadelphia; No Mo' Joe Buck!
Make it stop! Philadelphia cannot take Joe Buck's shenanigans any longer. We don't want you calling our games. We don't want your dull thoughts and comments. We don't want your unending biased against the City of Brotherly Love. We don't want you to ruin yet another championship. Philadelphian's have waited too long to see our sports teams succeed just to let a pompous, Federal Marshall escorted, lackluster broadcaster ruin our moment. This is a decent request surely warranted by any city with their team on the brink of a world championship. All we ask is that FOX remove Joe Buck, the son who can't fill the shoes of his father of Hall of Fame broadcaster Jack Buck, from calling any more Philadelphia playoff games. When Joe announced in an interview that he'd rather watch the "Bachelorette" than watch Americans favorite past time you better believe Jack did more rolling in his grave than Beethoven. So Philadelphia unite together now like our forefathers did in this very city near 250 years ago and sign the new Declaration, a Declaration declaring deliverance from the thresholds of emotionless broadcasting that Joe Buck and FOX has shackled this once vibrant, rowdy car flipping sports loving city. So give us your ol' John Hancock as this city bands together once again!