Jenny Howden 0

help us fight for the right to give my daughter the headstone she deserves after we were un informed

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I lost my daughter jessica in a car accident on 15 feb 2011 and left our lives shattered, after her burial we went to choose a headstone and found the perfect one which is an angel to be told we couldnt have it. We should have been shown and made to sign a regulations form before we buried my daughter but was not , after meeting the vicar i got nothing but arrogance from him after informing him the grounds we were refused on were unfair as all the things we were told we couldnt have are allready in the cemetery , (colour, photo) plus others such as a heart , book,cross, height restrictions , colour we chose, and since this he has passed 2 stones outside the regulations for other families but continues to refuse us , ,i tried to compromise and offered to change the colour from a red/brown colour to black but to no avail as he says an angel is not fitting he classes it as a figure/sculpture. I contacted the doiscese of wakefield to be told if i wernt happy HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER EXHUMED AND MOVE HER.No family should have this said let alone weeks after loosing a child, after informing the vicar i was going to take it further he told me to remove everything we had put for jessica off her grave and also my uncles , caring ?NO JUST SPITEFULL, i have been informed by a man that visits his wife that the vicar is taking alot of interest in my daughters grave , this from a total stranger and says it all he is a new vicar and using my family to set an example of . At the end of the day someones incompetance at theyre job to give us the information has led to our rights been taken away as i would not have had my daughter laid to rest in manor road cemetery , we have been miss treated and now told if i do not sign the regulations form I CANNOT HAVE A HEADSTONE AT ALL, REGULATIONS ARE REGULATIONS but yet he is choosing to waver these when he sees fit ,i want a picture but cannot have one but yet one has been put in 2 months ago after my refusal . is this fair treatment when this is not our fault , all we want is a fitting stone for a beautiful 17 yr old girl not one for a 70 year old woman, we are fighting for our rights that were taken away and the misery a so called caring church are happy to put agrieving family through, if we had had the information my choice would be different , we wanted edgings and the best of everything and now may not get anything but the wooden cross that wes placed at her burial , we tend the grave daily and there is never a dead flower to be found we have made it beautiful and have re grassed and cut it weekly , my daughters is the best kept grave there and he wants to take that away from us , please support us and fight for the rights these people took away from us in the first place through incompetence. I recieved an appeal form from the dioscese to find it will cost £255 to put it in and was told by the vicar if i want to waste my money send it in but he had spoken to the dioscese and they said they would refuse it , this is before they have looked at it !!!, CARING, THOUGHTFUL ,HELPFUL , GODLY PEOPLE ? they are far from it they are happy to take hundreds of pounds to do the service and burial and ontop of that you have to pay again around £180 for them to give u permission to put in a headstone. THE CHURCH IS NOT A CARING ESTABLISHMENT it is just a big money making corportion who make people suffer financially and emotionally

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