Jared Slater has an uncanny ability to make people laugh, cry, and extremely frustratingly angry. All three emotions mentioned are necessary for a person to live a full day of life. I call Jared Slater to use his ability (Oblivious to his own eyes) on the Twitter social network platform. It is with this platform, for which he can tweet his funny, stupid, nonsensical thoughts, and bring joy, or anger to the common man, for he is not a common man, much less a creature for all we know.