There are a few things in this world that are truly beyond beautiful; spectacles that surpass merely being wonderful and venture into the realm of the miraculous. On Sunday, April 3 2011 John "Jack" Dickson Walden got a mullet, and granted the world another miracle. He has since robbed us of that pleasure, unjustly cutting his hair in a fashion some might call "appropriate for this era" or even "pretty normal, I guess." We cannot let this injustice stand. We must right this wrong. We must take a stand against modern conventions of what is "stylish," and urge Jack get the haircut we all know suits him best: the mullet.