I'm a stay at home mom (prisoner)of 2 beautiful girls. I've been married to my best friend and captor for almost 15 years and I don't know what I'd do without him.#helpme, Most of my life consists of cleaning,cooking and keeping my little Assholes (kids) alive. I enjoy going to the bathroom alone (never happens), fine dining (chicken nuggets) and lots and lots of mommy juice. I don't need much in life (vacation to Bahamas) because I have it all right here at home (mom prison), but when I think of some of the amazing things I could experience in life (without kids) one major bucket list item is, GETTING SHIT FACED WITH KRISTEN WIIG!!!! I'd like to invite Ellen as well, no explanation needed really,duh!

Please sign my petition so that I can hopefully travel (prison break) to see these amazing women one day and uncontrollably laugh my ass off until I piss myself or vomit from the alcohol.

Thank you

Carrie Urnikis

AKA snack dealer.