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Help Robin Thede Learn How Black People Talk

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The recent anticipated debut of HBO's first and final season of A Black Lady Sketch Show garnered tremendous support from leg washing communities nationwide. The idea of an all-Black women's cast breaking the "but didn't we already give you people Insecure??" barrier seemed like a win for Twistout Twitter and was met with great enthusiasm and a measured denial that the show would be far better than its trailer.

We, the Undersigned Blacks, honestly did not know much about Robin Thede, the show's creator, although we took confidence in knowing that, just statistically, it was highly unlikely two light skinned Black women in comedy could be as annoying as Amanda Seales. To be clear, we want the sister Robin Thee-dee to win. We know that even though the pronunciation of her last name is exceedingly un-Black, it is important to have writers in the room who will change the landscape of this industry so that others (like the adorably quirky Quinta Brunson) can get on.

But given that we are now several episodes in our prayers to King Jesus that this show get funnier have been left up to the lord's infinite wisdom. We now ask, quite simply, that someone, ANYONE, make themselves available to teach Robin Thede how Black people talk.

In multiple sketches across what is now multiple episodes, she has revealed herself as one of these peripheral Blackish Blacks who grew up learning Black people from straight to DVD and blu-ray instead of sleeping head-toe with all the cousins on her mama side. We, the Undersigned, do not know why her blaccents sound like she's auditioning for Malibu's Most Wanted, but it gives us great concern as to her power to convince our white co-workers everywhere that Corey Booker really had a point in that story about T-Bone. We believe that while Ms. Thede was valedictorian of her class at the Kamala Harris College of Black Authenticity, her imagination about how "hood" Black women all sound like Jackeé from 227 (no wonder she nailed that sketch) is simply further confirmation that she should consider a hood externship before writing anything ever again. Her speaking voice sounds normally Black and yet her impressions of Black people sound like the cast of Nickelodeon's All That remade The Wire. As an aside, her recent church skit in which she portrayed an unfunny stand-up comedian went without all it's intended irony.

Her midwestern upbringing was as bi-colored as corn, and yet We see this as no excuse. There are, according to 2010 U.S. census data, at least 28 Black people in Iowa. Ain't T-Boz from there?? A woman so Black she married Mack 10 and gave us Jason Waterfalls? And you still don't know how Black people talk?? Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to.

We suggest swirl mentorship from Key and Peele, who, ultimately by sticking to what they knew, became funnier with time and a second Obama administration. We believe such possibilities are just around the bend for Ms. Thede, if we can just get someone, anyone, besides Silk and Diamond, to help her understand how Black people talk.

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