Today I stumbled across a website called 'google.com', and I was flabbergasted to try out it's impressive features! I had heard of these strange 'world wide web search engines' before, but I had never tried it. After playing around with the 'Google search' functionality, I thought I should perhaps try out it's "I'm feeling lucky!" function! I soon discovered that this function automatically redirects the user to it's first search result! How efficient, I thought! Alas, I am left with a void, which needs filling. Where, do I ask, is the "I'm feeling GAY!" function? This is why I have decided to create an online petition, requesting google to implement an "I'm feeling GAY!" button, adjacent to the "I'm feeling lucky!" button. Upon clicking, thousands upon thousands of spinning dicks will spawn on the screen, and homosexual erotica audio samples shall be played through the users audio system at maximum volume. I look forward to this feature. Thank you for your time.  

My anus is sincerely yours.

~c0nd0m