Petition to Officially Let Me Be My Girl’s Human Pillow



Look, I’m not saying I was born to be a pillow—but if the squish fits, I say wear it. I hereby declare my full support for becoming my girl’s substitute pillow, and I believe everyone else should support this noble cause too.



Let’s be real: pillows don’t have arms. Pillows don’t whisper sweet nothings. Pillows don’t laugh at her jokes (even the bad ones). But I do. And I’ll happily sacrifice circulation in one arm for hours just to give her the ultimate cuddle experience.



This isn’t just about comfort—it’s about love, dedication, and the sacred duty of being squished nightly for someone else’s happiness.



So if you believe in soft hearts, squishy hugs, and the right to be used like a human marshmallow, sign below and join the cause. Together, we can make the world a cuddlier place—one snuggle at a time.