this is a fatwa against turkey and other dry birdmeats after Christmas. For too long have we seen the kuffar Tesco supply excessive amounts of discounted Turkey well into January, when we are all trying to diet and flush out or digestive systems. For too long has this troubled our bowel movements and fattened out stomachs. For too long has this colonialist Christian idea plagued us well beyond its December borders. For too long has it forced us to add sausages and bacon "the flesh of swine" to our meals in order to make them less bland. The necessary addition of swine therefore justifies the sanctitude and holiness of this Fatwa.