Look, that guy who is working to help the poorest people in the world PROBABLY deserves a fair paper review. Trying to make him look bad is really NOT necessary for you to get YOUR tenure or to keep your tenure. So, do the right thing. And doing the right thing is really quite simple. And because it is simple, we will get right to the point: make it mandatory to have FAIR and JUST peer reviews in your department.

We believe that honest peer review is IMPORTANT. We need CLEAR and TRANSPARENT processes. Blind peer reviews can be made to work but simply saying "No, you did not collect the data" does not constitute peer review. That is what we mean by a blind peer review. It is a peer review wherein the author of the paper is not even told WHY the paper is being rejected. That is UNFAIR, UNJUST and UNETHICAL.

Remember: blind peer reviews are unfair and unjust not only to the people who write the papers but also to the millions out there whose lives could be immeasurably improved if the right ideas are implemented.

Either just STOP doing blind peer reviews or just STOP making it a one-way street. Tell us why a particular idea proposed won't work. Don't just say - "you did not collect the data yourself". That is a one-way street. Just tell us why the paper is being rejected. It is really quite simple. If you can use Facebook, you are already there. You DO have the SKILLS to do this. Trust us on this.

"You did not collect the data yourself" is NO basis for a paper to be rejected. The thinking that "we must do something to screw up your research program" is downright dangerous. We know that you have used exactly the argument given above in the past. We need you to stop doing that. We REALLY want you to not do that any more. Don't be evil.

It really is utterly preposterous to not give students a fair paper review, you flagitious, quisquilian, fissilingual quidnuncs. It is really beyond unfair. It is PREPOSTEROUS. It is one reason why there continue to be so many illiterates in India. It is one reason why there continue to be so many poor in India. Research is being choked. Research is being stalled. If we don't do something, these problems will never be solved. It is to STOP this sort of unfair treatment that we have united to force academics to start reviewing papers properly.

We cannot let the same debacle that happened with the "Don't eat Fat. Fat makes you Fat" hypothesis happen all over again. Americans know how bad politics in academia is. Americans know that they have been fed half-truths and outright nonsense over the years by academics in the area of nutrition. Development economics is no better. This rot needs to stop. Too many people's lives are at stake here. Too many people's very livelihoods are at stake.

Remember- they will come for us with pitchforks next. War and revolution may well result if we don't do enough. So, stop being pediculous, xanthodontous ructabundes. We know you guys are smart. So, you can surely understand every last word of what we are saying.

Now, we have done our part. It is now up to YOU now. It is up to you now to PROVE that you are fair and just. Give us explanations for each instance that we bring to your attention. Tell us what the student did wrong. Tell us where the technical concept went wrong. Tell us where the idea would have failed ACCORDING TO YOU - and, of course, we already know that the idea wouldn't. Because it is already working. So THERE!

Do the right thing. Be fair. Take some interest in what your actions will cause. Doing anything else is simply not fair.

Give the poor a chance. Give peace a chance.