To Whom It May Concern,

We, the undersigned, demand that squishmallows be banned from all stores and online retailers.

We understand that some people find these soft, cuddly toys to be cute and comforting, but we believe they pose a serious threat to society. Here are just a few of the reasons why squishmallows must go:

1. They're too soft: The excessive softness of squishmallows is a danger to the youth of today. Children are being coddled and protected from the harsh realities of life. How can we expect them to grow into strong and resilient adults if they're always snuggling with a plush toy?
2. They're too cute: Squishmallows are setting an unrealistic standard for cuteness. This is causing people to feel inadequate and inferior to these plush toys. We fear that the mental health of our society is at risk.
3. They're too addictive: Once you start collecting squishmallows, it's hard to stop. People are spending exorbitant amounts of money on these toys, and it's causing financial ruin for many families.
4. They're too distracting: With their bright colors and adorable faces, squishmallows are a constant distraction. They're preventing people from being productive and achieving their goals.

In conclusion, we urge you to take action against squishmallows. We demand a ban on these dangerous, cute, addictive, and distracting toys. Let's focus on building a strong and resilient society, not on snuggling with soft and cuddly plush toys.

Sincerely,

The Anti-Squishmallow Society